6 February 2010
For a while now, I have been thinking about what I will do when my job comes to comes to an end on March 31st. For a split second I panicked and thought about re-applying for my job or securing another job to start on 1st April. Like many practitioners, I work full time (in the creative sector) and try to squeeze my practice around work, so being made redundant was probably the perfect opportunity for me to focus on what I really want to do… I don’t have a clear idea what this is yet but I have lots of little ideas that are slowly coming together to form what I hope will be a year long research and development project.
I’ve started to think about how the change of routine and structure that my current job brings, will effect my usual working week. Im going to miss walking through the park, past the canal and over the bridge to Leicester train station. Arriving into Nottingham, looking to my right, over the bridge and seeing ‘D’ happily sat feeding the birds or taking a swig from a Fosters can. Walking quickly, almost jogging across the city, listening to a song I’ve heard over and over through my itouch, trying to beat the traffic lights, so I can make my way to the office without stopping. Racing through the Broadmarsh Centre and being hit by the smell of a horrendous burger and hot dog vendor, a man selling pots of sweetcorn and the sickly sweet smell of gigantic brightly coloured confectionary, guaranteed to make your eyes water and raise your blood sugar level to an alarming rate. I will even miss grabbing my lunch from Boots and being greeted by the lady with the red hair and cheery eyes, and talking to her about the day so far, weekend plans and that my hair has changed colour (again) for the amount of time it takes for her to put my lunch through the till.
There are many things that I will miss, but nothing can beat the feeling that I have now- a mixture of excitement for all the possibilities that will come with having time to investigate areas of my practice that I have only briefly examined so far… and the fear of not doing anything constructive with my time, the fear of having too much time and too many things to think about and being indecisive.